Mr. and Mrs. Wonderful

It's a wonderful life.

February 22, 2010
by MrsWonderful
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One shot of tequila away from vigilante

Surprising things happen when you open yourself up to them.

Weekend plans were minimal. I was hosting a girls’ night at the apartment Saturday night, and Sunday morning we would try out a new (to us) church. The rest we would improvise.

When I mentioned on Facebook a while back that Matt and I had learned how to make baked chimichangas, my friend Courtney proposed that we have a girls’ night and have chimichangas and margaritas. Sounded like a great time to me, so everyone pitched in for our Mexican-food fiesta.

Matt helped make the chimichangas and then left to get pizza and catch a movie with one of his friends.  We popped in a movie and ate from the generous spread. The margaritas only had a teensy bit of tequila in them to ensure safe travel home. Unfortunately, the girls’ couldn’t stay very long because of the hour-long drive back from Seattle.

After all of my friends had gone, I guessed that Matt would still be gone for a couple hours. Bored and somewhat lonely, I wasn’t quite sure what to do. The stillness of the apartment was somewhat eerie. A book couldn’t keep my focus. I wasn’t tired enough to sleep.

I made another margarita. Then I turned on the XBOX and pulled out Fable II.

Matt finished Fable II probably a month ago. While he was playing it, he could hardly be pulled away. When he proudly proclaimed that he had finally bought the castle, I just patted him on the head and said, “That’s nice, dear.”

By the time Matt rolled in the door sometime shortly after midnight, he found me there on the couch, squinting at the screen. If you had asked him before he came home what he thought his wife would  be doing, he probably would have guessed that I was doing aerobics naked before he would have ventured that I was drunk and playing Fable II.

That was only the first time I surprised my husband last weekend. Continue Reading →

February 16, 2010
by MrsWonderful
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Simple Pleasures: Chocolate-covered strawberries

I have tried making chocolate-covered strawberries before, but with disastrous results. I took the shortcut and tried to melt the chocolate in the microwave. It works for the meltable candy wafers, right? It should work, even if you have to do it at low-power.

But it doesn’t. I couldn’t get the chocolate to melt evenly, and it seemed like it even got dehydrated in the process.

So this time, I did it exactly as I saw on the YouTube instructional video. I got out a pot of water, poured the chocolate chips into a Pyrex bowl and started the slow melting process.

I was thrilled as I dipped the spatula into the bowl and stirred around the smooth, creamy melted chocolate. It was the perfect consistency for dipping.

I inserted a toothpick into the top of the strawberries and rolled the berry from side to side to coat the entire berry. When I lifted them out of the chocolate, it was thick enough that there wasn’t any dripping. I placed them on a cookie sheet covered in wax paper, and the chocolate started to harden before I even put them in the fridge.

While the chocolate-covered berries were setting in the fridge, I melted some vanilla candy wafers in a Ziplock bag in the microwave. When it was nice and gooey, I reinforced a bottom corner of the bag with transparent tape and used some scissors to snip a tiny hole to drizzle the melted candy out of. Because of the consistency of the candy, I had great control as I drizzled it over the chocolate-covered strawberries. I was able to start and stop on each individual berry, instead of having to do a more continuous motion like I would if it was any soupier.

Chocolate-covered strawberries

I am so happy with how they turned out. They looked great, tasted even better, and the process was easy and soothing. I think I’m definitely going to have to make more soon!

February 14, 2010
by MrsWonderful
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Happy Heart

On this Valentine’s Day, I thank the Lord for the wonderful man I married.

Every morning I wake up to the sound of the radio and look across the pillow to see  my husband’s peaceful profile. I throw an arm and a leg over him and we look at each other and break out into giggles.

The alarm is set to go off a full 45 minutes before we actually have to get up. We spend that time waking up slowly, basking in each other’s presence before we have to face the day. We chuckle at the morning show on the radio, share our bizarre dreams, or just lazily lie in each other’s arms. These moments are sacred to me. Every morning, I rediscover the joy of being with my husband. It as though past and future do not exist, and all that matters is this present waking moment when I can look into the eyes of the man I love.

I found my lifelong best friend that July day when we met. My heart is at home with him. I don’t know if I believe in soul mates, but Matt is the closest to being my soul mate I could ever imagine.

I feel supremely blessed to be with my husband. He makes my heart happy.

February 9, 2010
by MrsWonderful
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Lions and tigers and bears–oh, my!

Instead of participating in Superbowl Sunday by attending a party with copious amounts of finger food and bottled beverages, Mr. Wonderful and I went to the zoo to celebrate my friend Alison’s birthday.

We’re much bigger fans of Alison and animals than football, so it was the perfect opportunity. While everyone else huddled around televisions in sports bars or in their homes, we would be enjoying the zoo sans crowds.

As a kid, my mom and I would go to the Point Defiance Zoo very often. So often that, at one point, we were even members. I knew that zoo like my own backyard. Today, I still visit at least once a year.

It’s been a while since I’ve been to the Woodland Park Zoo. I think the last time I went was on a class field trip. I don’t remember much about it except the gorillas. (Perhaps that’s because they creep me out.)

I was so excited to see the animals at Woodland Park that they don’t have at Point Defiance. When we got to the zoo I grabbed Matt’s hand and started running like a child.

The zoo is an exciting place! It’s got animals! And you can learn about them! And (hopefully) see them up-close!

(See what Matt had to put up with?)

Sunday afternoon was perfect zoo weather: overcast and temperate. There is something about this kind of weather that makes the animals want to move around. (Or at least that’s my theory.) They were extremely active while we were there. As we traversed through the zoo, we got up-close and personal with some of the most fearsome animals.

Have you ever heard a lion roar? Not the stupid MGM lion before the movie starts. An in-person, real live lion. I’m convinced there’s no way to truly capture that sound. Recordings just don’t do justice to the echoing boom a lion can issue from within his deep chest. It’s terrifying.

Perhaps as terrifying as watching a lion stroll right up to you on his massive, heavy paws. Glass or no glass, I identified with the little girl who ran away when the lion started heading toward us. I wondered what thoughts were passing through the lion’s head as he stared at us with his bold yellow eyes. (And they are freakishly yellow.)

Well, he soon made his feelings known.

The lion rubbed his broad cheeks against the glass. You could feel the collective sense of awe shared by the small crowd huddled in the viewing enclosure. But that wasn’t enough for this powerful creature. He needed to make a bigger impression than that. So, with his captive audience staring, he turned and splattered the glass with his spray at eye-level. Then, of course, he sauntered away. Point proven.

Our other animal encounters weren’t quite so…um…humbling. But they did make an impression. I don’t think there was a single animal we wanted to see that we didn’t get a good view of.

And I think I discovered my favorite new animal: the sloth bear. Their cuteness is multiplied by the fact that they carry their young on their backs. Adorable.

All in all, it was a great day running around with Alison and my Mr. Wonderful, acting like little kids and getting excited about animals.

If anyone wants to go again, I’ve got my sack lunch packed.

February 8, 2010
by MrsWonderful
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Month Two: “The Five Love Languages” by Dr. Gary Chapman

The Five Love LanguagesFriday marked the completion of our second month of marriage, and the completion of our second marriage book, “The Five Love Languages.”

The book has been around for a while, and it is such a huge success that I would venture to guess that if you haven’t heard about it, you’re in the minority. But just in case you’re not familiar with the book, I’ll summarize.

Everyone gives and receives love in particular ways, and when love is shown to us in these particular ways, we feel loved.  As Dr. Chapman described it, everyone has an emotional “love tank.” Our love tank is filled by others expressing love to us in ways we recognize.  People cannot live healthy, fulfilled lives without a full love tank.

Dr. Chapman claims that, in general, people express love in five general ways, or five “languages.”

The five love languages are:

  1. Words of Affirmation
  2. Quality Time
  3. Receiving Gifts
  4. Acts of Service
  5. Physical Touch

If you’re like me, you probably read through that list and thought, “But I like all of those things! How could I speak just one?”

Most people have a single dominant love language that speaks the most powerfully to them. Within that, they may even speak a certain “dialect,” meaning that there may be even more particular ways they express or recognize love.

It is also common to have a strong secondary love language. You may not prefer it as strongly as the first, but if it was neglected, you would notice.

I knew immediately that my primary love language is physical touch. I have longed to be cuddled from the day I was born. I remember often sidling up to my mom on the couch and asking her to scratch my back. I needed to be touched. I needed the constant, reassuring contact of her hand brushing across my back.

Once I identified my primary love language, I wondered if I had a dialect. I realized that the most significant touches to me are those that are conscious. When I give Matt a back massage, I give him my attention. As my hands move, I’m thinking about how it might feel to him, what muscles might be tense. I ask for feedback or look for cues to see what areas need what kind of touch. I’m thinking about him and consciously expressing my love through touch. So, likewise, I feel the most loved when someone touches me in a way that makes me feel as though they are thinking of me. For example, I love cuddling on the couch with Matt while we’re watching a movie. But if he puts his arm around me and just lightly strokes my arm, too, my love tank starts filling at lightning speed.

Matt and I are fortunate, because my primary love language is his secondary love language, and my secondary love language is his primary love language.

Matt’s primary love language is quality time. I sometimes wondered why it seemed so imperative that I accompany him to the store. He’s perfectly capable of running to the store to get what we need! But because of this book, it dawned on me that he wants me to come along because of his need for quality time. No matter what we are doing, or where we are going, what really matters to Matt is that we’re spending time together.

I remember one Saturday we spent wandering around downtown Seattle. We didn’t have a particular destination in mind, but as we walked and talked, I realized I had no clue where we were.

“Where are we?” I asked, looking around at the towering office buildings. There wasn’t anything particularly interesting about the area, and most of the buildings seemed shut down for the weekend.

“I don’t know where the hell we are, but I’m having fun!” was Matt’s gung-ho reply.

It’s a moment we still bring up today.

Matt and I would recommend “The Five Love Languages” to anyone and everyone. It’s such an interesting read, full of helpful anecdotes that illustrate the love languages at work. The book prompted a lot of self-reflection for us, and also made close observers of each other.

I think this book will help us a lot in the long-run by prompting us to be aware of each other’s “love tank” and how to keep it filled. If you haven’t read it yet, DO IT!


February 3, 2010
by MrsWonderful
1 Comment

The Break-up

The Break-upThere’s nothing quite like witnessing a dysfunctional couple to make you happy for what you have.

Last night Matt and I snuggled up with each other and watched “The Break-up,” starring Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn. Throughout the movie, we turned to each other and emphatically uttered “I love you.”

As indicated by the title, the movie follows the break-up of Brooke (Aniston) and Gary (Vaughn). Their falling out is complicated by the mortgage they share on the condo neither of them could afford alone, but neither wants to give up. Their real estate dilemma leads to a prolonged nasty break-up, intensified by close quarters. The result is an anti-rom-com. From start to finish, we were waiting for Brooke to finally give up on Gary and become a liberated single.

I couldn’t help but recall what Matt and I read in “The Five Love Languages” by Dr. Gary Chapman. We just finished the book, so it immediately came to mind as we watched the movie.

In the scene leading up to Brooke breaking up with Gary, we learn that he’s even more of a prick than we have gathered from the film up to this point. She recounts clueless Gary’s every failure, and Matt and I tried to guess her love language. But it was impossible to know, because it sounded like Gary was failing to speak several love languages. Even when she explicitly asked, he never helped with dishes or cleaning the condo (service), took her to the ballet (quality time), or gave her flowers (gifts).  I don’t recall him giving her words of affirmation, either. Which only leaves one love language: physical touch. Although during the fight he alludes to a recent sexual encounter, they were at least ten feet apart for most of the preceding on-screen time.

Gary doesn’t understand that when Brooke is asking for help with the dishes, a night at the ballet, and flowers, she’s really asking for love. Gary may have feelings for Brooke, but he never shows her love. His every action is motivated by his desires alone. He doesn’t realize his own inability to love until an honest friend bluntly (and refreshingly) reveals his character flaw to him.

On the other hand, all of Brooke’s actions are motivated by her desires to give and receive love. Dr. Chapman explains in his book that everyone has an emotional “love tank” that needs to be filled in order for the person to live a healthy, fulfilled life. When Brooke breaks up with Gary, she feels so unloved that her love tank is running on empty. In a frenzied attempt to inspire some gratitude and love from Gary and start refilling her love tank, Brooke becomes the opposite of a loving girlfriend. Predictably, her actions only elicit resentment and revenge.

At the end of the film, after Gary has had his revelation and prepared a nice dinner for Brooke in a last-ditch effort to redeem their relationship, Brooke tells Gary, “I don’t have any love left to give.” She finally realized her love tank is empty.

Watching this movie, though frustrating and annoying, did drive home the messages Matt and I have been learning about marriage from our studies. Here are the main ones that came up in this movie:

  • Speak your spouse’s “love language” and keep their “love tank” full
  • Anger and fighting are often a result of an unmet need. Create a safe space for your spouse to share that need and do your best to meet it.


January 30, 2010
by MrsWonderful
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The romance of surprise

I was never the girl that fantasized about what her wedding would be like–until I got married. Now, I get inexplicable joy from looking at wedding magazines, websites, and blogs.

Although I loved our wedding, I came across this article about a groom who surprised his bride with a wedding (yes, you read that right), and I was absolutely jealous. To me, there is nothing more romantic than a well-planned surprise.  And when that surprise also happens to be your wedding? Hello, Romeo.

This is quite possibly definitely the most romantic wedding story I’ve ever heard. I’m willing to bet there is a plethora of women out there who are wondering if this man has brothers. And there is probably an equal number of brides elbowing their grooms.

January 29, 2010
by MrsWonderful
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Simple Pleasure: Seattle Chocolates

Seattle Chocolates Whidbey Wildberry Truffle Bar

The other day I asked my Mr. Wonderful to stop by the drug store on his way home and pick up some vitamins and dishsoap. He came back with the requested goods and two Seattle Chocolate Truffle Bars.

I think what really sets apart a good chocolate is the texture, and I love smooth Seattle Chocolates are. Simply delectable. Definitely a welcome treat any day of the week.

I think I’ll write to Dr. Chapman and let him know he forgot one of the love languages: chocolate.

January 27, 2010
by MrsWonderful
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Don’t divorce before you get to the s’mores

It’s no surprise that marital satisfaction does not remain at the same level throughout the lifetime of a marriage. But Matt and I were surprised to learn that most couples divorce just when their marital satisfaction is about to increase.

In general, marital satisfaction starts out high at the wedding, then steadily declines, reaching its lowest point at right about the middle of the couple’s life together: when they have teenagers. Most couples experiencing problems during their kids’ teen years decide to stick it out until the kids are out of the house, and divorce as soon as their kids are off to college. But what’s so tragic about this is that it’s at just about the time when some couples divorce that marital satisfaction generally begins to increase.

From the middle point onward, marital satisfaction keeps increasing, and at the end of life, marital satisfaction is higher than it was on the wedding day.

Les Parrott illustrated why satisfaction is higher by telling a story about a river rafting trip. He and some buddies decided to go river rafting, and didn’t know a thing about it. When surveying their trip options, they chose a trip that included a free barbecue dinner. It wasn’t until they strapped on their helmets that they realized they had chosen one of the most difficult, dangerous trips listed. Throughout the remainder of the trip, as they were plunged underwater and avoided deathly collision with the jagged rocks, all he could think about was getting back to shore. If he could have jumped out of the raft, climbed ashore, and called it quits, he would have. But they were in the middle of the wilderness and that was not an option, so down the river he went.

At the end of the trip, they were fed the barbecue dinner as advertised. After the main course, they gathered around the campfire for–you guessed it–S’MORES! S’mores are scrumptious anytime, but you can imagine how magical they would taste after such a harrowing experience. I think I would be face-down thanking the Lord above!

Sticking through the tough times, trusting the journey, can make the reward at the end feel that much more… well, rewarding.

I know couples get divorced for all sorts of reasons and at all stages of life, but knowing that it’s normal for marital satisfaction to dip and rise depending on life stage will hopefully provide us with some incentive to hang on when the waters get choppy.